Queen Elizabeth Land
This is me.
wllmhague
Have just named a largish chunk of Antartica after HM the Queen. As you do.

In all honesty, after the Queen's visit to Cabinet this morning I thought she might need something to cheer her up. 60 placemats? I'm not one to throw stones, but whose idea was that? This isn't M&S, it's the Cabinet.

And what better way to cheer up an aging monarch whose time has passed celebrate our glorious Queen than by reminding her of the time when she owned the world commemorating her through the place name of one of the most beautiful places on Earth?

Besides, "Queen Elizabeth Land" not only has a glorious ring to it, it's been an excellent first strike in Operation Annoy Theresa. You could see her grinding her teeth, but she had no way to respond. Not only was she not sitting next to our mighty monarch, as was yours truly, but she couldn't match my flair for the grand gesture either. I suppose she could have named the border the "Queen Elizabeth Border", but that would have had unfortunate implications for unauthorised incursions into Her Majesty's territory. And the police force could hardly be named the "Queen Elizabeth Police Force", lest another Andrew Mitchell call them all plebs and plunge us into another public relations disaster. Theresa could only sit and stew.

Yes, I am quite pleased with the day's work.

Twitter likes me as well. The consensus seems to be "...a better gift than placemats...", which I will take. Buying for women is difficult, particularly elderly women when you don't know what perfume they would like. "Eau d'Empire" is a perfectly reasonable fallback position.


The Assad regime and other international threats
This is me.
wllmhague
I am in Morocco for the Friends of Syria meeting. I am pleased that the US has recognised the Syrian opposition, in concert with the UK's previously-extended recognition. We must work together with both regional and international powers to combat the Assad regime and to offer support to the Syrian people.

While here, I have also been presented with the paperwork to remove Lord Mandelson from the no-fly list. DEFRA writes to say that he has been cured of his lycanthropy and is officially deemed human again and no longer a threat. 

There are those who would scoff at such a claim, and assert that once a sub-human, always a sub-human. And I am wary of the idea that a complete cure is possible - the scientific literature indicates that "cures" are incredibly rare and their aftermath under-studied. I have written to DEFRA to say that while I am acquiescing to their request to remove Lord Mandelson from the no-fly list, I trust that they are continuing to monitor Lord Mandelson's condition. Should a relapse occur, I am far from certain we could rely on Lord Mandelson to do the honourable thing and turn himself in to care. Not because of his political allegiance - I hope that I may consider myself beyond such partisan considerations - but because an animal brought to bay will protect itself above all others.

Nonetheless, I am glad that DEFRA believes that Lord Mandelson has been cured. It is a good moment for the world when science makes it possible to begin to put some of the horrors of the past behind us, and an enlightened government indeed that is able to quash its own reactionary elements and elemental fears to do the humane and compassionate thing. As long as Lord Mandelson's condition continues to be monitored, I am proud to be a part of a government that will allow him to fly. No longer are we in the days when sub-humans were simply shot upon being identified. We are a modern party and a modern government, unlike the last; Lord Mandelson will be free to visit Corfu again, should he desire, or to roam freely across the wild wastes of Siberia. Labour would have locked him in a camp and, were he cured, locked him away to experiment on him in an attempt to produce the cure more widely. We have set him free.

I have signed the paperwork. Perhaps I should send a copy to Lord Mandelson himself. Goodwill is important, wherever one finds it. 

Monday 8th October, 8 AM
This is me.
wllmhague
*William is working his way through the red boxes the FO ran up on Friday night. Most of it's not terribly exciting, but then his standards of excitement have been shifted since taking this job. With the entire world as his oyster, anything less than a sudden outbreak of war or volatile hostage situation has ceased to seem incredibly exciting.

He shuffles through the last papers in the bottom of one of the boxes. A folder from DEFRA catches his eye. Ah yes, the weekly supernatural report. He's glad most of the supernatural business doesn't come under his jurisdiction (with the exception of that time that pixie stowed away in Sarkozy's luggage). Except for diplomatic and international kerfuffles, he's happy to leave vampires and water monsters and whatever else to DEFRA.

This should mainly just be the additions to the no-fly list for him to sign off on. Glenys Jones, housewife, newly turned vampire. Adam Bennett, banker, newly proven changeling. Peter Mandelson, retired, newly turned werewolf. Samantha...

Wait.

Wait just a minute.

His eyes, which have been quickly skimming down the page, snap back to the name they had just half-read, his pen freezing in mid-descent for his signature.

Peter Mandelson.

Well, this is a surprise.

William's morning has just become exceptionally more exciting.*

A short note of thanks
This is me.
wllmhague
Recent events have been keeping Her Majesty's Government quite busy, but I would be remiss if I did not express my gratitude to Mr Chris Bryant for his support of HMG's application for core participant status in the Leveson Inquiry. Mr Bryant is, as always, the most helpful and generous of men, and the kindest of colleagues.

I am sure the Ministers who have joined Mr Bryant as core participants will soon be extending their own thanks as well.

Long time no see
This is me.
wllmhague
Time to return to Britain after rewarding visits to Vietnam, Singapore and Brunei. Building and maintaining strong ties with countries throughout Asia is critical to the economic and political future of this country.

I wonder what everyone in Westminster has been up to while I've been gone. Jeremy has had trouble suppressing his giggles recently - Browne, that is, not Hunt. I look forward to a full debrief upon my return.



From distant shores
This is me.
wllmhague
I am in Singapore today, meeting with business leaders and giving a speech on Britain's role in Asia. I hear that the atmosphere in Westminster has been explosive in my absence; I shall have to telephone the Culture Secretary for a personal update. 

Of course the economic news announced today has been dramatic and unfortunate, although not entirely surprising. In a global economic climate such as the one we live in, we could hardly hope to remain untouched by the difficulties of our European neighbours. Nonetheless, I remain fully convinced of the necessity of our present course, and I have perfect confidence in the leadership abilities of the Chancellor and the Prime Minister to extricate us from the mess Labour left behind. By the next election, Britain will be rescued from that abyss, and well on her way back to the wealth and prosperity which the hard work of her citizens have given her.

In local news, a young constituent of mine asked me recently whether there had ever been a Leader of the Opposition who had failed to become Prime Minister, stepped down, and then returned to become not only Leader but Prime Minister as well. I reassured her that no matter how dire Ed Miliband's performance became, Lord Kinnock would not reappear. She was, however, to be commended for an intriguing question...

(no subject)
This is me.
wllmhague
 Busy, busy! I'm going to need more SpAds if this carries on.

Not the most marvellous of weeks.
This is me.
wllmhague
 At least Dave still likes me, right?

(no subject)
This is me.
wllmhague
Very bloody funny, thanks very much.

I think it's time to risk the lovely Ffion's wrath and buy a new baseball cap. I think red is appropriate in this situation, don't you?
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(no subject)
This is me.
wllmhague
It seems the lovely coopertrooper  has been promoted.  I shall miss her dulcet tones across the despatch box.  

I'm sure Douglas Alexander is a charming man in his way, but he's got some very dainty shoes to fill.
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